Aujourd’hui ce sont les 4 ans de la mort de mon père. Je n’arrive toujours pas à m’habituer à ne plus l’avoir dans ma vie. La mort est tellement présente dans les esprits de chacun depuis le 7 oct que perdre son père à l’âge de 90 ans n’a rien de dramatique et pourtant il me manque encore terriblement.
En cette période si trouble j’aurai aimé entendre son avis, j’aurai aimé qu’il me partage ses sentiments, je pense qu’il n’aurait jamais envisagé qu’une telle catastrophe puisse se produire mais il avait conscience que l’existence d’Israël était l’assurance de vie de tous les juifs de la diaspora.
Il était foncièrement sioniste mais il ne serait jamais monté en Israël car il était amoureux de la France. Il aurait été très peiné de voir l’antisémitisme reprendre du poil de la bête immonde mais son caractère combattif l’aurait encouragé à rester en France, son pays, pour se battre. Je pense à lui tous les jours, tout le temps, depuis 4 ans.
Je me suis rendue ce soir au cimetière, il est enterré en Israël. C’était sa volonté car il craignait que sa tombe en France soit profanée un jour. Il est le témoin silencieux depuis le 7 octobre d’un nombre incessant d’enterrements qui ont lieu près de lui, des visites continuelles de parents qui viennent pleurer leur enfants assassinés le 7 octobre ou tombés au combat. Il doit être si triste d’assister à cela sans pouvoir les consoler..
ENGLISH
Today is the 4th anniversary of my father’s death. I still can’t get used to not having him in my life anymore. Death has been so present in everyone’s minds since October 7 that losing your father at the age of 90 is not dramatic and yet I still miss him terribly.
In this troubled period I would have liked to hear his opinion, I would have liked him to share his feelings with me, I think he would never have imagined that such a catastrophe could happen but he was aware that the existence of Israel was the life insurance of all Jews in the diaspora.
He was fundamentally a Zionist but he would never have moved to Israel, he was too in love with France. He would have been very saddened to see anti-Semitism regain its vile strength but his combative nature would have encouraged him to stay in France, his country, to fight it. For 4 years now, I think of him every day, all the time.
I went to the cemetery tonight, he is buried in Israel. It was his wish because he feared that his grave in France would be desecrated one day. He has been the silent witness since October 7th of an incessant number of funerals that took place near him, of the continual visits of parents who come to mourn their children murdered on October 7th or fallen in combat. He must be so sad not to be able to comfort them.
